But I Said No!

This entry will be another branch off the previous entry related to gifts. MIL likes to give gifts whether you want them or not. Every time I think of this particular situation I get angry, because it was overt ONLY to me.

MIL likes to garage sale. One day she purchased a used, plastic Fisher Price kitchen set and called me to ask if I wanted it for our almost three year old daughter (Eldest). I told her no, because I wanted to buy a kitchen set myself for our daughter when she was a little older. This was something I was saving to do when our daughter was about five. I was really excited about it, but wanted to have one when she could appreciate it more. As a kid I loved my kitchen set and wanted to be a part of the one we got our daughter. I told my MIL this as part of the reason to politely tell her no, and the reason why. Why I was so nice to that bitch for years I’ll never know. She never deserved it.

About a half hour after I told MIL “no” to the garage sale kitchen set, I was heading upstairs with laundry to fold when DH called me out to the garage. When I got out there I saw that, despite my wishes, MIL had brought over the kitchen set, including plastic food and toy dishes, set them down, got my daughter and let her start playing with it. I stood there in complete shock, taking in what she just did. I looked over to see that evil hag give me a huge smile and waved her hand at my daughter who was playing with the kitchen set and said: “See? See how much she loves it?!!” I was so upset. If I took the kitchen set away, I’d look like the bad guy to my three year old. MIL knew exactly what she was doing. My husband was clueless to all of it. He wasn’t aware she’d just called and asked if we wanted it and that I said “no,” and that she completely undermined my wishes. The entire happy scene just looked like MIL was being an awesome grandma! I'm sure my husband was thinking "look at what a nice and fun thing my mom did!!" I knew that if I were to say anything, anything at all, I’d look like a complaining, unreasonable brat.

A few minutes later MIL followed me into the house and gloated over how much my daughter loved the kitchen set. I was barely listening to her while cleaning up the kitchen. Cleaning the kitchen was the only excuse I could find so I didn't have to look at her or really engage with her, lest I rip her hair out. At one point while she was carrying on with her gloat and trying to convince me what she did was perfectly fine, MIL reached out and put her hand on my arm/wrist as if to stop me from walking away from her. Bad move. I was already trying maintain my calm, so her touching me was like acid. I stopped what I was doing, glared at her hand grabbing me and immediately yanked my hand away from her. When I did this, my arm did an unconscious flail away from her and my arm went in a big loop as it was pulled out of her grasp. She didn’t even bat an eye or acknowledge what I had just done. At the time I did it, I thought “oops, way to show her that you can’t stand her, M.A.” but she didn’t even appear to notice. I thought that was weird.

After MIL finished her yapping, about five minutes later, she went home. A few hours later when things has calmed down and our daughter was in bed, MIL called DH on the phone and told him that when she was in the kitchen talking to me that I “physically attacked her.” She was twisting the story of HER grabbing ME and stating that I “attacked” her. It was absurd. This was another one of her colossal lies. One that was so preposterous as to be funny if it weren’t so fucked up. As if she’d wait four hours to tell her beloved son that I “attacked her” if I really had. What a joke. DH of course didn’t believe it, but he let his mom get away with behavior like that all the time. He questions me, gets my answer, realizes his mother was lying again, and blows it off.

It has been issues like this over years and years that just sent me over the edge. When I relive these experiences and write them down I get so upset with myself. Why did I allow her to do this to me over and over? This was par for the course with her. And every time I just let her walk all over me!! This is why I now have no patience with her, no sympathy for her, no good will, no desire to think the best, no tolerance left AT ALL.